"I'm never having kids"

Growing up I always told my parents "I'm NEVER having kids." They always smile and chuckle and say, "yes, you will." I always respond with some facial expression that says "yea right! You'll see."

Now I find myself setting my alarm to make sure girls are up and getting showered, making sure girls get their clothes washed, watching over girls at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, making sure chores get done, showers get taken, hearing "Mrs. Amanda" 800,000 times a day (definitely not complaining about this one :)), being the referee to some of the most bizarre arguments, getting in the word with the girls, discipline, and numerous other things.  

All that being said, although I am not these girls mother in no way, I am definitely responsible for them as a caretaker! OH MY GOSH! Sometimes I think that God has a sense of humor and thinks it will be funny to do things just because we say we never would. On the other hand, I think He does it because He knows the only one who will receive glory is HIMSELF! The people in my life know that being a "caretaker" of children isn't about me, and therefore only He could be looked at and praised. I am thankful for this in my life. That the worship points back to him always and He doesn't allow me to be tempted to steal His glory.

So there has been a lot of discipline going on this week at the farm. With 23 girls it will always feel like someone is getting in trouble (shoot, with 3 kids in my family I'm sure my parents always felt like someone was getting into trouble). At some point this week I got pretty frustrated about it and had to get quiet by myself. I started listening to worship music in my room. An old Hank Murphy song came on called "To follow you." It talked about wanting to be where God wants you. One of the lines in the song said, "to go where you are needed (talking about God sending us where He is needed)." It hit me straight in the stomach. It was like God said, "Amanda, I have you right where you are because I am needed there. Not because those girls are already perfect but because I need you to live as Christ right there in front of them, in the same house as them, 24/7, so they may have an example of a woman of Christ." WOAH! Thank you Jesus for sanctifying me, growing me, and stretching me. To not stop at the limits I set for myself (not having kids) but put me in situations that you must be my strength (caretaker of 23 girls).

AP
John 3:30