Being "home"

Being home... What does that even mean? Yes, Valdosta is where I left from to go to Honduras, yes this is where my church home is at, and yes I am getting to see lots of friends and family while I am in Valdosta. But bouncing from couch to couch, invading people's houses and personal space, and living out of a suitcase barely sounds like home. I've also been told home is where the heart is and mine feels like it is split in 2 and in separate parts of the world. As discouraging as this sounds, as I thought about it I became encouraged. The encouraging part is that Jesus promised this!

In Luke 9:58, Jesus challenges a would-be follower by saying, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head."

This verse reminds this would-be follower that the path of following Jesus is not easy or comfortable, THAT THIS WORLD IS NOT JESUS' HOME! and therefore as followers, NOT OUR HOME! That nothing is permanent or eternal in this world, it is all given to serve that HE may be more known. And when we focus our hearts and minds on heaven and being kingdom minded the things of this world, like having a place to call home, begin to grow strangely dim and fade away.

So my flesh could easily find a reason to pout in this. But this morning in church I was reminded of a verse, 1 Corinthians 10:31, that says, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." and this verse checked me. Everything we do has a motive, but is out motive rooted in serving and glorifying self or God? Thank yo Lord for conviction and I pray that it does not stop there but my conviction is turned into action that refines me inti the blameless daughter you are calling me to be.

AP
John 3:30

Never the Same Day

Just to validate this blog, let me give you an intro. I wrote this blog on Wednesday and it is Saturday night and I am just now finding time and energy to post it. Whew! Praise God for the work.

Frequently when I talk to people they will ask “so, what does your typical day look like?” or “what do you do in a normal day?” My response is the only thing typical about any of this… my response is something like “ha! No day is the same around here.” Then I go on to try and explain some of the things our days around here consist of.

Sunday morning before church me, Mrs. Pam, and Natali sat down and looked at each with the thoughts of wow this next week is about to be crazy! We took a deep breath and started out the door for church saying we can do this! So we got to church and then the Pastor of our church, Pastor Ricardo, lets us know of another thing going on this week.  The church that sponsors us is from Ohio and they were sending a team down this week to do a medical brigade. They were bringing dentists, nurses, dental hygienists, and pastors. They need our girls to be translators. Let me just take a side note and tell you how much this blows my mind. These girls will never understand how amazing this is. They are 12 years old on average and translating for doctors who are giving medical attention to their local community. These girls have gifts that they don’t understand and are glorifying God in ways that I cant even do. Praise God! So they needed 2-3 girls to translate on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. AHHHH!!! This just added to the craziness of the week.

So Monday we carried 2 of the girls to the church to translate and the rest went to school as normal (not to mention Ben is in the States so me, Mrs. Pam and Nat have been having to switch off covering up at the school teaching classes). That afternoon me and Mrs. Pam had to take the Patrol to la Esperanza because it is acting a little funny and needs some maintenance. So I followed her in the white truck. Since I have been here I have been learning to drive a stick shift and whew it is no joke learning to drive a stick in the mountains. So this was my first time driving all the way to town by myself. All is good. The truck is safe and sound back at the farm.

Tuesday 3 girls went to translate at the church and we carried all the girls who have coughs, dental situations, and little sicknesses to the church as well for the team to give them medical attention. The rest of the girls went to school. Tuesday night we normally take the big girls to church but this week we took everyone because the team was doing something special. We got all the right cords to plug our ipods into the cd player on the bus and the girls were so excited (maybe as excited as Mrs Pam) to be able to jam out on the way to church. It was a good time. So church was very exciting. There was a big turn out from people that had come for the medical brigade that the team invited from the community. The Pastor from the team preached and the team did a time of prayer and it was very refreshing and uplifting. One of the girls got saved! It was amazing and totally a blessing to be a part of. It had been a very long day and exactly what the staff needed.

Wednesday was a very exciting day! Mrs. Pam carried 3 more girls to translate for the medical team. She also had to carry another girl to get some more extensive dental work done. Natali has been doing Mailbox Club lessons with Yahsi, a community near the farm that we have to hike too. It is one of the schools that the farm does a lot of ministering to. Today was the first graduation that this ministry has done with any of the mailbox club lessons. Natali, me, and some of the girls hiked to the school carrying bibles for gifts, candy, and a cake. Yes I just said that we hiked with a cake and it made it there without being dropped once. These girls know how to hike. The graduation went great. For many of them this is the first Bible they have ever had. It was very exciting! So now we are laying in the grass on blankets hanging out and listening to music while girls play games (sweet time) because the electricity was out when we got back to the farm, which means cold showers and no one is jumping at that. The medical team that supports the church we are going to is coming to the farm this afternoon to visit and hangout.

So let me tell you about the rest of our week. Sunday we are having a quinceanera for 3 of the girls that are turning 15.Thursday, tomorrow, we are having a half day of school so that we can clean the church and the kitchen and everything because we are having company and for the quinceanera. We have to go to town and buy shoes for all the girls to wear, grocery shop for the quinceanera, pick up the girls rings that they get at the quinceanera, pick up the patrol, etc. Friday is always a half day of school and will continue with plans for this weekend. Saturday a team gets to the farm. Sunday is the quinceanera. Monday Mrs. Pam’s daughters will fly into Honduras. That afternoon we are going to have a bridal tea party for one of the girls who used to live on the farm and she is getting married the following weekend. Tuesday we will breath!

So as for the typical day… there isn’t one. But our prayer every morning is that God would fill the day just as he sees fit and give us the strength to get through the day and be reenergized and renewed by him. God is good and will give us nothing that we can’t handle with his strength. Although some days I feel like he gets way too close J

I leave in one week to head back to the States for my first visit. We have to leave the country every 3 months to renew our passport. It is wild to think I have already been here for 3 months. It has flown by and at the same time I am becoming so used to this life that it feels like I have been here so much longer than that.

P.S. Today (Saturday), we got a new girl on the farm! She is 11 and gorgeous. The day has been full of the girls taking her in and showing her around and just loving on her. This makes the family 24 girls now. :) God is good! Be in prayer for all of the adjustments that this will mean for this beautiful little girl.

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John 3:30

It's Been a While...

Whew! Although good, things have been very busy and that is why I haven’t written a blog lately. Every second of my off day was devoted to rest and being consumed with the word knowing that this is what it would take to get through the week. By the end of the day I was too tired to think about anything but sleep so I could be ready to get going the next day. Mrs. Pam was in the States for the past 3 weeks and returned back to the farm on Sunday. Praise God for all He has been doing in the past month. Through everything going on He has accomplished so much at the ministry and in drawing me to Himself.

As a staff we were able to take time to really start organizing systems and protocols for different areas of the ministry that will allow us to really keep up with things with the girls. This may sound boring to you but if you know me than you also know that this is super exciting to me because I LOVE BEING ORGANIZED! Also, we started going through the Leadership Essentials book together where we meet once a week to discuss what we have been studying all week. It is encouraging to be studying the same things together. The day after Mrs. Pam got home, Ben left to go to the States. The transition has been busy but good. Ben is the only intern as of right now that goes up to the school and therefore we are having to adjust schedules to have someone at the school at all times. This has revealed to me that I am definitely not a teacher! But God is still using what is offered up and doing it for me.

It hasn’t rained for the past 2 days which is a miracle after it ceased to rain for 8 days! That is a lot of rain. So much rain that we couldn’t go to church because the bus wouldn’t make it out of the driveway. The roads are ruined and there is a lot of maintenance going on. But since the rain stopped the past 2 days have been cold! When I say cold I mean cold. Coming from South Georgia where a scarf is only worn to be cute (lets be real, it doesn’t ever really get cold enough for a scarf in Valdosta), I am thankful for all those cute scarves because they will be put to their intended use now. It is the same with our fireplace. It is intended to warm the house (no central heating and air around here folks) which will be your only relief from the cold. Praise God! But its only October and just the beginning of cold season… better start layering up!

God is good! He is teaching me new things every second, how to be disciplined in fleeing my flesh and reflecting His glory, that this life is not about me nor does it belong to me, that I am nothing without him, and that if obedient He will be faithful to use me. Its not easy but it is good. If he didn't give me struggles what would I offer up to him? What would I call out to him about and not rely on my own strength? I am not my own.

AP

John 3:30

Dogs: MAN’S best friend, NOT Woman’s!

So we have a dog named Sniper. He is the guard dog here at the farm. He is a big ole dog! He spots everything that moves around the farm, whether it is a dog, cow, or a person near the gate he doesn’t miss it and is off barking and running to see what is going on before we even see it. He walks me home every night across the farm to my house. He goes up to the school with the girls and watches the gates there and he stays up all night with the watchman walking around the farm, keeping things safe. He serves his purpose well and he is truly an awesome guard dog. Every once in a while he has the tendency to get a little bored or hungry (not sure which one) and mess with the rabbits, ducks, or chickens.

Then there is Princessa. She has been on the farm for about 2 weeks now. She was bought to breed with Sniper because he is getting a little older and we want his blood line because of his size (dogs here in Honduras are little). The day she got on the farm was a little crazy for Sniper. He was all excited about a female and a little spunky and unsure of everything. In a freak accident one of the girls was petting him and another stepped on his foot and he turned around and bit the girl petting him. Nothing too bad and really didn’t even pierce the skin barely.

Just to be on the safe side we had to take her to the doctor to get a Tetanus shot. In doing so the doctor told us that we needed to lock both dogs up and observe them for 10 days. After 10 days we would have to bring them in for a rabbis shot because they were having cases of it around here. So we did just that. OH MY GOSH I WANTED TO SHOOT (yes I said shoot) PRINCESSA!! She whined the entire time. All day long for 10 days. I thought I was going to go crazy. It was sooooo loud. At one point she jumped over the inside fence that divided the cage in half. She was tied on a rope because she can break out of the cage. When she jumped over it she was whining and when she got to the other side she wasn’t. I honestly thought she hung herself and I was not upset at all (harsh reality). But she didn’t and she soon after continued to whine. So on the 10^th day Natali and I loaded the dogs up in the truck to take them to the doctor to get their shots. Princessa was tied to the truck because she’s unpredictable. Sniper normally stays in so we put a rope on him and just put him in the truck and as soon as we got out of the gate he jumped out. To keep him from running off me and Natali both step on the rope and it tightens around his neck and he starts choking. We hurried to untie it and got him back in the truck (changed our method of tying him so he didn’t choke) and tied him to the truck so he would stay in. Im learning to drive a stick and so we take off in the truck and I stale out right in front of the doctors office (just thought it would raise the stress level a notch, why not).

The doctor comes out and is going to give the dogs the shots right there in the truck so thankfully we didn’t have to untie them and get them out of the truck. He tells Natali to hold Princessa’s head while he gave her the shot in the back leg. Then Sniper’s turn… Sniper whipped his head around so fast when he stuck that needle in that Natali lost hold of his head and he almost got himself a bite of the doctor. He then looks at Natali and says, “he almost bit me… we would have had to start the 10 days over.” I said nothing but I’m sure my face said, “yea right. You would have had a newly donated pair of dogs.”

So we get in the truck and are on our way home and we look back and Sniper has jumped out of the truck (remember, he is tied to the truck at this point) and is kind of sitting/laying in the middle of the road. We stop, run after him, and he takes off running. He will generally follow the truck home but we didn’t want to take the risk because we were a little further from home than normal. So we put him in the back seat of the car and made it home safely.

So we let the dogs out on the farm. Yes! No more whining dog in the cage, shots are done, and all is good. Not an hour later, one of the workers comes and gets us and says that Princessa just trotted by the kitchen carrying a rabbit. She has killed 2 rabbits in a matter of minutes and has earned her way back into the cage. More whining! They always say it takes a lot of discipline to discipline because it normally is just as painful for the one disciplining. Whoever said it was probably talking about children, but I am here to tell you the same applies to dogs! Only a few hours later the girls come and get us and are in a panicked state … Sniper has massacred all 6 ducks. Yes, it’s true. Feathers everywhere, bodies on one side, heads on the other, the worse murder scene I have ever experienced (this trumped the rabbit murder scene only hours before). So then Sniper earned his way back into the cage. That night Princessa broke out of her cage and killed another rabbit. We are now duckless and down to 1 rabbit. Poor rabbit, I’m sure she fears her life at this point after watching all the others be killed.

After only hours of freedom these dogs (and all of us having to suffer through the whining) were right back where we started 10 days ago. We experienced 9 deaths in one day and for all that we know there has been no reproducing of dogs happening thus far (this may be God’s sovereignty over these 2 bloodlines ending). Who knew that while Mrs. Pam was gone to the States it would be the animals causing all of the drama and the girls behaving rather nicely.

Men, you can have your dang best friends…

Independence Day, Muddy Soccer, Pinatas, and all the neighborhood Children

So this past Thursday was Independence day here in Honduras. So the girls didn't have school. We carried all of the girls into La Esperanza for the parade, which they loved! Later that day we did one of their favorite things... movie night (which normally happens on Fridays but heck, it was Independence Day)! Friday the girls have half a day of school and since they didn't go Thursday we figured no reason in half a day Friday (I know, we are too gracious). So Friday we had a huge chores day. We deep cleaned the kitchen, Mrs. Pam's kitchen, the barn, etc. By the end of the day I was exhausted and had another movie night to look forward to! woo hoo! Saturday we decided to go to the soccer fields. That morning the judges showed up with a pinata and candy so we decided to take that with us. Me and some of the girls walked down the neighborhood roads by the soccer field and invited people to come play soccer (with 23 girls you don't really need any extras to play but its outreach right?) and enjoy the pinata. Turned out to be an awesome afternoon of funny events including me shin deep in mud. The roads drain really well here for how much it rains but I found out where it all goes... The soccer field! Back at the farm I got a lesson in the pila. The girls hand wash their clothes in what is called a pila. It is an outside cement contraption that holds clean running water and gives you like a wash board to scrub your clothes and rinse them which takes the dirty water down a pipe and away. My tennis shoes and I were introduced to the pila. After a while of instruction from the girls I began scrubbing. Eventually I got bumped out of the way and the girls went to work. Needless to say, my shoes look good as new and I feel slightly more domesticated. This was only my first home-ec course of the weekend. My addictions came to light when the electricity went out for over 24 hours and I was without coffee. The girls pull down this tiny cloth strainer, heat up some water, and begin to teach me how to make coffee "the old fashioned" way... I was amazed! I could learn a lot from these girls (isn't that how it usually goes?)

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John 3:30

"I'm never having kids"

Growing up I always told my parents "I'm NEVER having kids." They always smile and chuckle and say, "yes, you will." I always respond with some facial expression that says "yea right! You'll see."

Now I find myself setting my alarm to make sure girls are up and getting showered, making sure girls get their clothes washed, watching over girls at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, making sure chores get done, showers get taken, hearing "Mrs. Amanda" 800,000 times a day (definitely not complaining about this one :)), being the referee to some of the most bizarre arguments, getting in the word with the girls, discipline, and numerous other things.  

All that being said, although I am not these girls mother in no way, I am definitely responsible for them as a caretaker! OH MY GOSH! Sometimes I think that God has a sense of humor and thinks it will be funny to do things just because we say we never would. On the other hand, I think He does it because He knows the only one who will receive glory is HIMSELF! The people in my life know that being a "caretaker" of children isn't about me, and therefore only He could be looked at and praised. I am thankful for this in my life. That the worship points back to him always and He doesn't allow me to be tempted to steal His glory.

So there has been a lot of discipline going on this week at the farm. With 23 girls it will always feel like someone is getting in trouble (shoot, with 3 kids in my family I'm sure my parents always felt like someone was getting into trouble). At some point this week I got pretty frustrated about it and had to get quiet by myself. I started listening to worship music in my room. An old Hank Murphy song came on called "To follow you." It talked about wanting to be where God wants you. One of the lines in the song said, "to go where you are needed (talking about God sending us where He is needed)." It hit me straight in the stomach. It was like God said, "Amanda, I have you right where you are because I am needed there. Not because those girls are already perfect but because I need you to live as Christ right there in front of them, in the same house as them, 24/7, so they may have an example of a woman of Christ." WOAH! Thank you Jesus for sanctifying me, growing me, and stretching me. To not stop at the limits I set for myself (not having kids) but put me in situations that you must be my strength (caretaker of 23 girls).

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John 3:30

SURVIVOR: HONDURAS

This week Mrs. Pam, Ben, and I have had a running joke. The joke is that if America decided to do a reality TV show on the farm it would be a hit! This all started earlier this week when Mrs. Pam was gone from the farm getting her passport from the capitol. It felt like every other second Ben or I was calling her and the other was yelling let me talk to her as well. As Ben passes me the phone, Mrs. Pam says to me, “Hey we could be on a reality tv show. We wouldn’t even have to fake anything. We have enough drama and interesting things happen to keep people watching for sure.” Ever since then, every time something happens one of us says, “add that to the tv show.” Mrs. Pam even named it! SURVIVORS: HONDURAS. Once you start pointing out all of the ridiculous, hysterical, and off the wall things that happen, you begin to realize just how often these things occur. From Mrs. Pam receiving an armadillo shell on a bright yellow string to hang on her front porch from one of her watchmen workers for her birthday to having the “Puberty speech” with 23 girls, from running home from school down the hills in the flooding rain to having birthday cake by candle light because the electricity had been out for almost 24 hours. I mean, ok maybe some of this stuff isn’t exactly entertaining for everyone but when we are in the midst of it all, it just seems hysterical and really makes us laugh.

Seeing as how I don’t have any children, I often wonder now how my parents didn’t just start busting out laughing when me and my siblings were in arguments. Children tell on each other over some of the silliest things. I have to hold back my laughter so many times when the girls come to tell on each other… “She looked at my panties!” (well, you shouldn’t have been jumping on the trampoline in a dress) How do you not laugh at that!?!? I am truly learning so much about grace and how to discipline girls not based on emotion but taking the time to make sure they understand the situation and why they are being disciplined so that it doesn’t continue to happen. God is growing and stretching me and He is good!

Saturday, by the grace of God, Mrs. Pam and I both learned how to jump start a vehicle. Mrs. Pam and one of the girls had a birthday this week so we were going to town for a pizza party (Ben was meeting us there). We all get in the bus and the battery was dead. After a few phone calls to check ourselves on what we thought we knew about jumping off a vehicle so that we didn’t cause permanent damage, we were successful in bringing the bus back to life, and both felt very empowered! GIRL POWER (ok the people I called were guys but that doesn’t count)! I would not like to know what it is like to tell 23 girls all dressed up sitting on a bus that the plans for the day were ruined based off of our lack of knowledge on vehicles. Thank you Jesus!

So we look forward to another productive week through the problem shooting, trials, and dramas at the farm on the newest reality show that happens to be my life, SURVIVORS: HONDURAS! (I think this week Mrs. Pam is teaching me to drive a stick shift, pray for us!) To God be the glory!

AP

Breakthrough: it's the little things

Today was a sweet spirited day... I don't really know how to explain it but it just felt peaceful and I truly felt delight in this day. That doesn't mean it didn't have its trials, girls still got into trouble and had to be punished, it poured rain all day, the electricity went out for 5 hours (4th time in the week and a half that I've been here), the girls in charge of cooking started too late and we had grilled bologna sandwiches instead, and we had to address the situation of one of the girls wearing 3 bras to make her look a little more blessed up top (yes, even though the culture is different, girls struggle just the same as the U.S.) just to name a few. BUT God gave me a smiling spirit today.

I feel like today was a day about relationships and being able to hangout with the girls. I feel like they are starting to open up to me and trust me being around, like they feel like they can come to me. It's like they have to make sure I am sticking around before they invest in a relationship with me. At the same time I am learning how to be a disciplinarian and authority figure and still have relationships with them to where they feel like they can talk to me about things.

The electricity went out at about 1pm today. We all went about the day and when dinner came along we gathered into the kitchen. As we handed out plates the electricity came back on and the kitchen erupted in cheers! This meant not walking around the farm in the dark (bc it would be dark in about an hour), hot showers, and coffee for me! This isn't the first time they cheered like this when the electricity came back on... it has been everytime. In this moment sitting in the kitchen hearing their cheers, my soul sighed and I smiled. It has been the first time that I can say with everything I truly felt joy being here. Thank you Jesus for the encouragement of today... not because it was filled with great things or because I have some awesome Jesus story to tell. But Lord, you provided me with comfort in the little things.

Your prayers are being heard by our amazing God. Your prayers are felt. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for me.

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The Mission Field as a Lifestyle: “This isn’t a week long trip”

Right now I sit in my room writing by head lamp because the electricity is out for the second night in a row (they say this happens a lot around here. Just keeps things interesting I guess).

I don’t even know where to begin… Arriving at the farm on Thursday we pulled up to the gate and I got out of the truck to unlock the gate and barely had time to look up before I was tackled by one of the girls I had grown very close to when I was here in Honduras at the ministry in December. It was an amazing reminder of what this is all about after a long emotional day of traveling.

I have gone through all the normal processes of being new somewhere: getting settled into my room (which is in one of the houses with 2 girls from the farm), getting a phone, learning the rules and schedules, paying attention to everywhere we go, and being very intentional of learning the language (it would have made way too much sense to learn the language before I came). Of course you have that one person you follow around the whole time because they were the one that reached out and made you feel like they cared. Thankfully for me it was Natali who I already knew and was excited to work alongside. She keeps telling me, “Its ok, you will have to do it for the next intern.” J

Ive been on many short term mission trips through my church, Crosspointe Church. I never knew how different the immediate feelings and thoughts would be from those trips to this year long commitment. When you go on a week long mission trip, there is so much excitement and just trying to consume everything as quickly as possible because reality is that you will leave soon. This is totally different. I almost feel like I am in slow motion while everything else is on fast forward around me. I am trying to process everything, pick up and pay attention to everything, discern so much, and understand the systems behind everything. There is no thought of when I leave, there are only thoughts of how to settle in and make this my lifestyle, how to function in this environment most effectively. So that has been my prayer, that the Lord would show me how to function in this lifestyle in the most glorifying way to HIM. That the Lord would show me schedules and systems that work best for me to pour into the girls, invest in the ministry, and allow for the word to renew and transform me.

Before I left Valdosta, I made four extremely Christ centered, edifying, encouraging, and challenging relationships with 4 AMAZING girls over the past year of my life. I know God ordained these girls into my life. They challenged me in my relationship with Christ simply by looking to me to speak truth. It always caused me to cling to the cross and run to scripture. I am so thankful for them and the way God has used them in my life. Since I have been here I have struggled with not being able to get in the word with these girls, do ministry with them, or talk to them whenever I want to about everything JESUS. But today the Lord revealed to me that even these girls were a part of his plan for me in Honduras, to show me what these relationships have meant and that I can have the same relationships with the girls here on the farm. That these girls need Christ centered, edifying, encouraging, and challenging relationships in their lives in the same way the girls and I in Valdosta do. He challenged me with being all in, showing me that my growth was not for my own sake but for the sake of the Gospel being made famous right here in these girls lives in Honduras. Thank you Jesus!